by Chelsey Lynn for Bolde
Just because you’re in a relationship with a guy doesn’t mean you have to like all the same things, sure — but you should at least have a modicum of interest in what each other likes or would like to try, or else why the hell are you together? If he’s not down to at least try the following, it’s time to move on to a guy who is.
1. ORAL SEX. Some guys may have had bad oral experiences with girls who maybe weren’t the most hygienic or whatever, but you aren’t that girl and you don’t deserve to be punished for her vaginal sins. If he isn’t willing to go down but expects you to, this is a bad sign.
2. COOKING DINNER FOR YOU OR WITH YOU. Even if he isn’t a great cook, he should be willing to get dirty in the kitchen with you… especially if you’re hoping for a long-term commitment. Cooking is an important skill to have, and he should be willing to try it with you.
3. SPENDING THE NIGHT. If he’s been gun shy about spending the entire night together, then he’s not only a man-child, but he’s also got serious issues. Of course, this doesn’t apply if he is just a hook-up, but if you’ve been seeing each other for a while and he still dips out after the deed is done, f*ck that.
4. HANGING OUT SOBER.Most of us are guilty of letting alcohol become the center of a lot of our dates — breweries, wine tastings, going out for drinks, etc. This is OK, but if he won’t at least try hanging out with you sober, then you probably don’t have a future together.
5. YOUR FAVORITE SEX POSITION/S. Maybe they aren’t his favorites, but they work for you. Female orgasms can be so hard to reach, so when you know a position works for you, you want him to be willing to try it, too. If he isn’t, then he doesn’t deserve you anyway.
6. HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS… WITHOUT HIS. This can be a super serious issue in a relationship. He needs to be willing to try hanging out with the girls (and you, of course) without the protection of his guys. Your friends are important to you, and he should want to forge relationships with them, too.
7. A NIGHT IN, JUST THE TWO OF YOU. If the two of you are always hanging out with other people, then you probably need some time in, just the two of you. If it seems like he is always trying to keep your dates well-populated and doesn’t seem to want to be alone other than to have sex, there’s a serious problem.
8. TAKING YOU TO YOUR FAVORITE EVENT, EVEN IF ITS THE BALLET. You’d go to the game with him, so he should be willing to go to whatever event you want him to go to, too. Even if it is something like the ballet or the opera and he doesn’t really dig it, he should be willing to at least try for you.
9. YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF FOOD, OR YOUR DIETARY RESTRICTIONS.People in serious relationships know that dinner can be stressful if you’re each eating different things. Maybe he doesn’t like curry, and thats OK, but if he isn’t willing to try some of the things you like, you’re either going to be resigned to never eating them or it’ll be a fight every time you want to.
10. YOUR FETISH OR FANTASY (WITHIN REASON). I’m not saying that he should just be totally willing to strap on a butt plug and a ball gag, but he should be willing to play out your favorite fantasy or dabble in your fetish (if it won’t cause pain or bruising or shame), especially if you’re willing to indulge his.