I’m A Slut — And 100% Proud Of It (So Stop Shaming Me Already)

67
62944

Being a slut doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. It means you’re judgmental.

Last weekend I went out with the intention of dancing with a few friends, but I ended up spending most of the night “dancing” with a new male “friend” whom I’d just met.

By “dancing,” I mean I grinded and groped him on the dance floor.

I only noticed other people were starting at us at the point when he had one of his hands on my ass, the other on my boob, and I was licking his neck.

Not only did it not bother me that complete strangers were ogling us in judgment, but it wasn’t about to slow me down either. I knew they were watching — and judging — and I just didn’t care. Just like I didn’t care when I amped it up and pulled another guy into the mix. Do you know what looks worse than having a guy touching your boobs on the dance floor? Two guys touching your boobs on the dance floor.

I ended up going home with the second guy and when morning finally rolled around and I thought back on the night before, I had no regrets because I had a great time.

Yes, I’m a slut and I love it.

But first let’s clarify what I’m talking about when I say “slut.”

First off, I’m not talking about a misguided teenager, trying to find love in “all the wrong places”. I’m not talking about someone is who is trying to find self-worth by having sex with other people. I’m also not referring to a slut-duo, meaning a slut who comes with a less-than-desirable second quality, like stealing your husband, cheating on you, breaking up a marriage, spreading disease, or any other socially questionable actions.

I am, however, talking about a woman (or man) who chooses to freely share their sexuality, lend a sexual favor (and won’t turn one down) and doesn’t show the slightest concern in showing some skin.

I’m talking straight-up slut without any of the nasty, shame-y nicknames. That’s what I am. A straight-up slut. (No, I will not sleep with your husband — but I may get naked with each and every one of his single friends.)

Are we on the same page here? Great, let’s move on.

Sluts, as I mentioned, get such a bad rap and I really don’t get it. Why on earth does anyone else care what I do with my vagina? Why do you care what I do with a d*ck that is of no personal interest to you?

proud

 

And not to mention the grotesque double standard: A man can sleep with 50 women and get high-fives all around. A woman can sleep with 7 and be branded a slut. It’s so archaic, I can’t even entertain it.

I’m a 32-year-old woman who’s having the time of her life. I have a few self-imposed sexual boundaries that I choose to live by (no casual penetrative sex) but oral, nudity, group play, etc, is all good in my book — and if you don’t want to read that book, then don’t.

Bottom line: I’m not doing anything wrong.

Being a slut doesn’t start and end in the bedroom; it’s deeper than that. It starts with the self-discovery of knowing who you are and then standing by it. It starts with being OK with separating yourself from the pressure and expectations to be just like everyone else.

I’m fine being the girl who will shamelessly get naked and fool around just as I’m proud to stop when I hit my boundary line. (Yes, Even a slut can say no. Shocker, right?)

No, I’m not a frisky teenager and no, I’m not a confused woman recovering from a really bad marriage. I am woman who has completely and totally accepted her sexuality.

It took me a long time to get to the point where I was able to admit that I like sex, I like beingsexy, I like to do sexy things with my body, and I enjoy doing the aforementioned things with multiple people. It took me even longer to be OK in accepting what other people thought of that.

Until you’re wearing my vagina, any problem you have with it is your issue, not mine.

 

This story by Alex Alexander originally appeared on YOURTANGO

Read more: 

SHARE
Previous articleThis Eating Disorder Survivor Posts Side-By-Side Photos In The Name Of Body Love
Next articleThe Things I Missed Out On Because I Got Married As A Teenager

67 COMMENTS

  1. You’re either ‘judgmental’ or you have ‘bad judgment’.

    I used to have bad judgment, and now I’m judgmental.

    Thus, I look at the people who want me to regress from that as con artists.

  2. Your complaints about the sexual “double standard” betray a complete lack of understanding of the actual differences between the sexes–yes, yes, I know it’s “misogynistic” to think that those differences are anything other than a social construct, but I really don’t give a damn. To the extent that the double standard exists at all, it exists because it’s much harder for men to get sex than it is for women. A man who wants to be promiscuous has to be attractive and highly intuitive regarding emotions. Attractive men get away with a lot more than unattractive men, simply because they’re attractive. What’s regarded as flirting from a handsome man is often regarded as harassment from fat and/or ugly men.

    If a woman, on the other hand, wants to be promiscuous, she only needs to be willing. The very existence of fat and ugly sluts is evidence of this. Have you ever seen fat or ugly studs? Of course not.

    Also, if you’re 100% proud of being a slut, why do you care if people shame you for it? The truth is, you’re not. Proud people don’t care what others think. You just want everyone to think like you, in typical feminist fashion.

  3. I have no problem with you being a slut, its not like you did this at Chucky Cheese this is an adult place.

    But your wrong about guys not being slut shamed. There are more words for slut shaming men, then women, such as creep, womanizer, pig, pervert, male gaze, objectifacation, leecher, sexual deviant, ect…

    Unlike the word slut, no one glorifies the names and terms used to slut shame men.

    Men are often treated like sex predators for no reason at all. Single men aren’t allowed to sit by childern on some air lines, its just assumed they must be a sex predator.

    And the big arguement against transgender people using bathrooms rests on the assumption that men are sex predatories and women need a safe space from sex crazed men.

    Millions of male babies are subjected to genital mutiliation to curtail their sexuality, to keep it in check by removing the foreskin, one of the most sensitive parts of a man’s penis.

    I’ve personally experienced slut shaming many times in my life, it sucks balls.

    So I do sympathize with your position, but I hope you realize that your idea of what its like to be a guy is a myth.

  4. Either bravely defy societal conventions, or be free from insult. Choose which one you value more, because in no realm of existence can you have both.

    I’m not saying this to be cruel. I’m saying it from personal experience. I’m a furry. I draw and write furry porn. Most people on the internet do not like furries. But I’m not ashamed of what I like, and so I’m not ashamed to admit it. I know that this will invite jeers. I know I will be called a furfag and a dogfucker and sick and gross and whatever. I don’t let it bother me. I have no control over what people say to me; I only have control over how I respond.

    I admire you for being open with your sexuality in a society that is still overflowing with childish puritanical prudishness. But anyone who breaks the norm is going to get shit on. Anyone, no exceptions. If you cannot stand insults, then conform. This is the choice we all have to make. We can either go with the flow and deny our true selves, or we can swim against the current as who we are. Both choices are hard. Both come with consequences, but both come with benefits. You can never have the best of both worlds. Trying to do that is the only choice with ALL downsides and NO benefits. Learn from what I’ve been through. And good luck.

  5. you are a slut, it’s nothing to be proud of, your entire selfworth comes from utter bullshit, you should be ashamed of yourself and you’re pathetic

  6. “Stop shaming me” and “Don’t judge me” really? Honey, no one is judging you. That’s your conscience talking. Nobody cares about what you do.

  7. Why would I have a problem with you being a slut? The fact that you think giving it away to any guy who smiles at you is empowerment is the most awesome thing on the planet! Feel free to empower yourself daily. The only guy who thinks that’s not awesome would be someone not interested in getting off with a chick who’s super easy and takes no effort. I mean, who would pass that by? They’d be crazy.

    I love you’re a slut. And I celebrate it! I mean, I definitely won’t marry you but you rock for the nights I’m too lazy to jerk off. Keep on being a slut for me! Thanks!!

  8. I like how you try and say that you’re NOT a dirty nasty slot that spreads diseases. Because that’s precisely what you are, you can’t be less of a slut or more of a slut. Nice try …attempting to differentiate between a slut and a slut.

  9. Ok since you are so determined to display your ignorance let me enlighten you.

    “I am, however, talking about a woman (or man)
    who chooses to freely share their sexuality”

    “A man can sleep with 50 women and get high-fives all around. A woman can sleep with 7 and be branded a slut. It’s so archaic, I can’t even entertain it.”

    Here is the thing; the male version of a slut is not a He-Slut or ManSlut or whatever. The male version of a slut is a Nice Guy. A man can’t be a slut because a slut is someone who gives it away easy. And sex was never anything guys GAVE away since to begin with women are the gatekeepers of sex.and for men getting sex is hard work.
    When a guy sleeps around a lot he is a Stud. And that’s a word of praise.why is that? Because for a girl to get sex two times a day from different guys involves her simply ACCEPTING the offers of sex constantly thrown at her by men. Women are offered sex left right and centre daily,and the difference between a slut and a good girl is that a good girl TURNS DOWN most advances.a slut usually says YES.hence she is shamed.
    And why is a slut shamed?
    Because she is LOWERING the value of sex.by flooding the market(society)with easy/free sex the price the customer(males) will end up paying for a unit will be lower.
    Who does this shaming?
    Even though you seem to direct your anger at men you will be pleasantly surprised to hear that the group that slut-shames mostly is the WOMEN themselves. For the reason above. The same women who hate prostitutes and will never allow prostitution to be legalized. It all boils down to keeping sex just out of reach from males;so the “perceived” value will make men pay a premium through commitment and marriage for access. The bargaining power women have is their vagina.anything that makes access to it easy will take power from women. And women will never allow that.
    Men don’t shame sluts like women do. They will mostly shame you when u start DRESSING the part of a slut. When you literally wear your slut on your sleeve thru lewd fashion attire and the like. Remember the very first Slut Walk was a reaction to the words of a Policemen who told some girls to dress decently and not invite rape.

    As for the double standard of shaming the girl and praising the guy:
    For a guy its a different ball game altogether. Guys have to persure,seduce,hunt and game chicks for attention and sex. even for a guy to sleep with one new girl a day involves him approaching many girls who will for the most part turn him down. He persists despite the challenges until he meets an agreeable chick. Now that’s commendable. That guy is a stud. For a guy to sleep with 50 girls means he has approached more than 5 times that number of girls and been turned down. Yes about 250 girls were seduced; and to say 1 in 5 would agree is even very generous/optimistic. Do you see the levels of balls and dedication this guy has? Tell me that guy doesn’t deserve those high -fives!I dare you.
    For a girl to sleep with 7 guys simply involves her turning down 20 advances and granting alteast a few decent ones access.
    women are the gatekeepers of sex,men are the gatekeepers of commitment.that’s why even though a girl may control the sex,its 100% up to the guy if he chooses to propose his GF or not. Nice Guys become sluts in that they willingly enter Friendzones and GIVE away easily, the one thing males have total control over (commitment/friendship)even WITHOUT getting sex for it.Hence friendzoned guys are the butt of so many jokes!
    the Slut and the Nice Guy both give easily and for free the one thing their gender has absolute control over. If a girl however had the ability to get many men to commit to her WITHOUT her giving them sex and get them to do her bidding ,then she would be the female version of a Stud. And praises would be in order. And THAT would be an empowered female. Like someone said somewhere: a man hopes to be liked enough to be given sex;and a woman hopes to be liked enough that she doesn’t have to give sex.

    You are not empowered you are just addicted.

  10. I simply want to tell you that I am all new to blogging and site-building and really savored your web blog. Almost certainly I’m want to bookmark your website . You amazingly have beneficial articles. With thanks for sharing with us your blog site.

  11. I haven’t checked in here for a while because I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  12. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some creative ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

  13. Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have created some nice practices and we are looking to swap techniques with other folks, please shoot me an email if interested.

  14. Hello! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this website? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be fantastic if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  15. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

  16. Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very hard to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and visual appearance. I must say you have done a great job with this. Also, the blog loads extremely fast for me on Internet explorer. Outstanding Blog!

  17. Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely useful info specially the last part 🙂 I care for such information much. I was seeking this certain information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  18. Hi there, just became alert to your blog site through Google,
    and discovered that it’s truly informative. I am just likely to look out for brussels.
    I’ll be grateful in the event you continue this in the
    future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing.

    Cheers!

  19. I cherished as much as you will obtain performed proper here. The caricature is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nevertheless, you command get bought an edginess over that you would like be turning in the following. ill definitely come further before once more since precisely the similar just about very continuously within case you protect this hike.

  20. I enjoy you because of all your work on this web page. My niece takes pleasure in engaging in investigation and it’s really simple to grasp why. A number of us hear all relating to the lively method you produce functional tips and tricks on this blog and as well as inspire contribution from other people on the matter then our daughter is undoubtedly studying a lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. Your performing a powerful job.

  21. Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!

  22. I just want to say I’m very new to blogging and site-building and definitely loved your web-site. More than likely I’m want to bookmark your site . You definitely come with terrific well written articles. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your web site.

  23. This really is the appropriate weblog for all who is wishes to find out about this subject. You comprehend a fantastic package its practically difficult to argue along. You certainly put a whole spin on a topic thats been discussed for years. Great goods, just wonderful!

  24. I simply want to tell you that I’m very new to blogging and site-building and certainly enjoyed your web site. Most likely I’m going to bookmark your blog post . You absolutely have beneficial articles. Thanks a bunch for sharing with us your web-site.

  25. I simply want to mention I am newbie to weblog and really savored your web blog. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your site . You absolutely come with really good articles and reviews. Cheers for revealing your blog site.

  26. I just want to tell you that I am just all new to blogging and actually enjoyed this blog. Most likely I’m going to bookmark your blog post . You amazingly come with wonderful writings. Thanks for sharing your website page.

  27. You can definitely see your skills in the paintings you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe. At all times follow your heart. “Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.” by Robert Byrne.

  28. Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is really frustrating. A good blog with exciting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this web-site, and I’ll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?

  29. I simply want to tell you that I’m very new to blogging and absolutely liked your web page. Very likely I’m want to bookmark your blog post . You surely have beneficial well written articles. Cheers for revealing your webpage.

  30. An impressive share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing just a little analysis on this. And he actually purchased me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If doable, as you turn into expertise, would you thoughts updating your weblog with extra details? It is highly helpful for me. Huge thumb up for this blog put up!

  31. Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your
    site. You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some content
    for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail
    if interested. Many thanks!

  32. Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossip and net stuff and this is actually irritating. A good blog with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for making this web-site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?

  33. Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this info. Today bloggers publish only about gossip and internet stuff and this is really irritating. A good site with interesting content, that is what I need. Thank you for making this web site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here